AM I AN EXCEPTIONAL WIFE TO MY HUBBY

I normally don't blog about marriage issues, I have been wanting to since the hubby and I got married a while ago.  This topic I think is great as an introduction to marriage because I feel I can work on all these myself.  Anyone can make self improvements its just up to us to follow through and actually make the effort.  One of my favorite sites is Black and Married with Kids.  This site always has great inspirational post when it comes to improving your marriage.  The article I read today is about 6 Things That Make an Exceptional Spouse (you can read the full article here).  One of my goals in life has always been to be a great wife to my husband (and great mother to my children).  So I jumped at the chance to see where I was lacking and excelling.  I realized I need to improve in almost all these, some more than others.  Here they are in a nut shell:

1. Become Great Communicators.  "Hearing is different than listening. Hearing is seeking to understand from our spouse’s point of view, not our own. Without really hearing each other, our communication is significantly hindered."

2. Say I am sorry/I forgive you.  These two might be very hard to do but when spoken with a true heart can strengthen your marriage and get you to move forward instead of being stuck in the same situation.

3. Share One Anothers Load.  When we do this "we demonstrate how much we value them.  And thus, put exceptional strength into our relationship."

4. Solve Problems Side by Side.  "Change your language from “you”, to “we” and “us”.  This will make your spouse feel like you're a team instead of you against them.

5. Compliment (Verbally).  We all get comfortable with our spouse.  But don't stop saying thank you and giving out compliments to him/her.  We have to make it a habit to pay attention to our spouse and let them know it.

6. As our marriage grows we (should) become wiser.  If you know there's a hot button topic/word don't use it.  A wise spouse avoids the "land mines".  "An exceptional spouse is about knowing yourself and being proactive about avoiding big “mess ups”.

I have big slip ups when it comes to communication.  The hubby is a great communicator who has worked with me to open up more.  But some periods in our marriage I will close up like a calm.  I know this is an issue for me but I'm willing to continue to work on this.  Point# 2, saying I'm sorry is another issue for me that has gotten better over the years.  For me it's always been hard to say this because I realize now I lacked maturity.  Now that I've grown it has become easier to say but I'm still struggle here and there.  So I realize I still have a lot of work to do and always will (marriage is work) but I'm willing to keep making improvements on myself and my marriage.  I try to be the best wife I can be to my husband.  What areas do you see yourself needing improvement?  Its hard to take a look at yourself and realize you need growth but that's the best part because you know what the problem is and go foward. 

Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd

(photo from Black and Married with Kids.com)

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PREGGO STYLE

I have always loved to dress up and express myself through my clothing.  But in the past few years of settling into married life, buying our first home, working full time, and now being pregnant my lust for clothing had to be put to the side.  Oh and there's the little things called weight gain and growing older.  These two things alone makes it harder to find stylish, affordable clothing for my (tall, big breasted, small hips, but big butt) self.  Don't get me wrong I love my shape (I'm speaking pre-pregnancy and now) but I'm way too big to shop at places like Forever 21 and a little too grown as well.  So its a battle to find clothing to ft my shape without making me look bigger or sloppy, and not put together. 
Now I have the new battle of dressing around JuJu's (our unborn child) bump.  Because I'm so top heavy I have to pay close attention to how clothing falls on my body.  The past month I've hit some home runs and some I've had some strikes.  For instance I bought a dress before JuJu's bump was even showing.  I knew the dress would grow with me and I would look fabulous wearing it.  WRONG!  I put it on and I look like I was wearing an old school mumu.  Not flattering at all!  I started to think I would look horrible during the remainder of my pregnancy, I want to be comfortable but stylish too. I looked into my bag of styling tricks and started wearing tighter clothing.  I'm not trying to pull a Kim K. but I've noticed I look 20lbs lighter (and cuter) with a fitted tee and skinny jeans then I do with a flowing top.  So now I'm on the hunt for new clothing for the rest of my maternity; I donated almost all my clothes and rest left over I had to store away for post pregnancy.  Here are a few of my looks these past week.  Tell me what you think.  How do/did you dress for your pregnancy?  Did you prefer comfort over style or vice versa?

Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd

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FAT GIRLS NOT WANTED

Mike Jeffries, CEO of Aberombie & Fitch, should be ashamed of his rude comments.  But clearly he doesn't give a damn.  He publicly stated how he doesn't want fat girls wearing his clothing.  He only wants skinny, beautiful, popular, all American guys and girls wearing his clothing.  Fat girls aren't part of the popular crew.  It's obvious when a retailer doesn't want larger people in their clothing because they don't offer their sizes.  I work in fashion so I hear the same lame excuse, "It will cost more to make a larger size".  I feel plus size women should be given the option to pay more then.  But what it comes down to is they don't want to make clothing for plus size women because it's "more complicated" making plus size clothing.  As a tall woman I've always had issues with many clothing retailers not providing styles that were long enough for my height.  Here are some of his quotes:

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he told the site. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either,” he told Salon.

Mike can control overweight girl/women from wearing his clothes but what about the unattractive ones?  Will he train his employees to understand his view of beauty and to sale clothing only what he finds attractive?  Its understandable that certain designers want to uphold an image of their brand but can you image if Wal-Mart said they only want fat, loud, unattractive people shopping at their stores.  Or if hair salons said they only want customers with hair past their shoulders.  Why is it ok to discriminate  in the fashion industry? This is the only industry where its ok to do so, its called "fashion."  What do you think?  Is it ok that Mike can carry his feelings about weight and beauty to his business?  Or should he have kept it separate like church & state?

Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd

The not so good looking Mike Jeffries

Image from lipstiq.com

 

sources:

elitedaily.com

lipstiq.com

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Those Pants!

Those Pants! by goofygyrl21 featuring skull handbags

Joveeba
$81 - thegrandsocial.com.au

MICHAEL Michael Kors lightweight jacket
$670 - nelly.com

Legging
kamishade.com

Jerome C Rousseau summer wedge
monamoore.com

Skull handbag
lorisshoes.com

Shaun Leane red gold jewelry
$9,175 - couturelab.com

Queen bee
gojane.com

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GETTING BACK IN THE SWING OF THINGS

I've been away for sooo long.  Each time I attempt to get back to my blog something happens.  My most recent incident, the flu.  It was a nasty, hard hitting flu that knocked me off my feet.  I was out of commission for 5 days.  I haven't been that sick since high school.  But God has a reason for me to get sick now and not later. 
Anyways I'm finding it hard to get back in the swing of things.  But something told me to write what I was feeling right now and post for you to see.  Maybe this will ignite the flame (I hope so).  I've had so much I wanted to share.  For example, how to keep the romance going in your marriage throughout the year.  This was suppose to be a Valentines Day post.  Another post was suppose to be a vlog about our first trip to San Fran.  I will still post these outdated post but I need to get my mojo back in reading my favorite blogs, finding beautiful inspiration photos, and bringing you styling tips.  It might be a slow start but I'm willing.  Have a blessed day.

Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd

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BABY SHOWER PLANNING

I'm going to be an Auntie soon.  I can't wait to meet my little nephew.  I'm in charge of planning my sister-in-laws baby shower.  I love planning parties for others.  This is the second baby shower I'm in charge of  in less than a year.  I've been all over the web trying to find the right invitation for the shower.  I just came across this site called Invitation Box and I LOVE their invites.  They have classy, modern, and fashionably invites for African Americans.  I've always like the invites that has a stylish woman with oversized sunglasses holding a cute bag but most of the time it's a Caucasian woman or a silhouette.  I can identify with the images used on this site .  Check them out and tell me what you think.  Do you know of any other sites that are geared towards people of color?  Let me know.

Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd

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MY NYE LOOK

My hubby picked this dress out.  It's by XOXO (Macy's).  I really like this dress because I can wear it different ways for different looks.  This look is my NYE look, cute clutch (Bakers) and leopard pumps (Target).  For another look I can add tan pumps, a white blazer, and large floppy hat for spring.  My summer look will be wedges, gold bangles, and a big hobo/beach bag.  Moving into fall and winter I will pair tights, stiletto calf boots, a structured bag, and a fitted blazer. 

Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd

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SO SORRY

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for responding so late to any comments that have been posted on my blog.  I must admit I'm not used to getting comments here so I rarely check the comment section.  A easier way would be for me to have all comments approved by me before posting (I received an email) but I feel that's not fair to you the reader, having to wait for a comment to be posted.  I will make 100% effort to check and reply to each of your comments on a daily basis. 

I am so happy to see that my blog and social media pages (Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest) are growing but I have to learn how to take care and manage the both.  So please bear with me.  I'm blessed to have you ladies and gentlemen as fan/followers and I don't want to lose anyone of you.  I hope each and everyone of you have a blessed holiday season.  Merry Christmas!

Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd

P.S.  Lookout for 2013.  Things will be a little more personable.  I want to share my world with you and I hope you'll share with me as well.

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